This blog is to keep me accountable. It is going to be an ongoing story of my journey with weight loss. To be authentic, I need to post about the bad days, as well as the good days.
I had a bad week. The last day that I tracked was February 24th. So I guess that makes it a bad week, plus 2 days.
February 18th was a planned non track day. I made healthy choices along with some not so healthy ones. I was visiting my best friend and I drank beer and wine and relaxed. I had a salad with dinner and pizza after my wine. I felt okay about it because I was going to get back on track the next day. But the next day I had a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich on a bagel for breakfast. I planned on just having a veggie stir fry for dinner to balance it out but my neighbor came over with wine and tortilla chips. My mom made pasta for dinner. I had too much wine, a bowl of pasta with butter and cheese, and shoveled tortilla chips and tzatziki into my mouth record speed. I went to bed felling bad that I had eaten off track 2 days in a row. Why couldn’t I just say no thank you to the wine? Or have a glass and stop there?
I started back on Monday. I planned out my day. My neighbor made peanut butter chocolate chips cookies, and I had one. I tracked it, and ended the day one smart point over my daily goal. I didn’t feel bad about it.
The next night, my neighbor came over with Peeps Oreos. I looked up the points and factored one into my day. I would end within my point range and I was proud that I made it happen. Then I ate 3 cookies, and ended the day 4 points over goal.
Wednesday was on track. I ate vegetables. I drank water. I tracked Thursday perfectly. I didn’t binge while I was babysitting on Friday, which is usually when I end up raiding the family’s pantry and fridge and feeling embarrassed and huge and gross afterwords. I weighed in on Saturday morning and was down another pound, something I was hugely proud of because of my weekend before. I was proud, but couldn’t help to think what my loss would have been if I had stayed on track on Sunday. I was more active that week than I had been, probably ever. I made an effort to hit my active minute and step goals on my Fitbit every day. I went for walks. I enjoyed the beautiful weather. I sweat. I drank more water.If only I had eaten that veggie stir fry for dinner on Sunday, I could have lost another pound.
Then the weekend happened again. I planned to not track on Saturday. I had a light breakfast, and then went to visit another friend where there was tequila, and pita chips and hummus and popcorn. We had tacos for dinner. We got chips and queso. I had a coronarita. Who needs a beer in a margarita? Apparently me. I planned for that day, and thought that when we went out to breakfast I would get an egg white omelette with veggies. I didn’t. I had a breakfast burrito with home fries. I are almost the whole thing and felt so full that I was uncomfortable. When I got home, I went to a birthday party. I wasn’t going to drink. I was going to pick at the appetizers and load up on the salad at dinner. I drank a bottle of wine, are 2 pieces of pizza, a cupcake, a brownie, buffalo chicken dip, chips and onion dip, stuffed mushroom, shrimp delights. I went home a cried.
I did track the next day, technically. I was feeling guilty and ashamed because of my off track weekends, but stayed on track for most of Monday. I had a vita top for breakfast, lean cuisine for lunch, a cheese stick and lentil chips for a snack. I ate 2 mini croissants in the afternoon at work but I tracked them, and was going to make zucchini, corn chowder for dinner. Instead, I ate a box of Russel Stover chocolates. This is where I gave up on the week. I was discouraged with myself, wondering why I was so stupid to think that I could stick with this plan. I ate a cheese steak sub, drank wine in the middle of the week, had chocolate mousse, went out for tacos again, ordered pizza and potato skins, went out for Thai food. I’m going out for hibachi tonight. I plan to get back on track tomorrow. I didn’t weigh myself yesterday.
After 7 days in a row off track I feel ready to start again. I know that my weakness is the weekend, and being around my friends. That’s hard for me because I want to be with them, and it’s difficult to order a salad and drink water when they’re having tacos and pad thai and drinking wine and beer. Or when I’m at their house and they order take out pizza or subs. I was doing well with staying active so I need to get back on track with that. The warmer weather and later sunsets are perfect for after work walks.
I can do this.
I will do this.
It is a marathon, not a sprint.
I will fall sometimes.
I always need to get back up. I am worth it, I can do it.